we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
