TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
