I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
There are leaves in my underwear?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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