Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
