everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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