i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
