what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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