then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize