..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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