the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
