The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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