Just cropdusted the office
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
