Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The power of my boobs compel you
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
