I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Randomize
