The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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