Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
