Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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