Pappa wants mamma naked
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
This couple is walking their pig around campus
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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