So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize