NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
