oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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