We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
