The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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