can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
