So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
