what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
