Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
