THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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