highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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