I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
