got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Come share oat with me in your robe
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
