She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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