Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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