they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
