okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
