my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
