He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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