A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
