...so i touched it.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I stole a fireplace last night.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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