You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
