You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
