my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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