I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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