he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
