im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
