Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
