PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
