it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
