guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
