I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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