I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
