Sry I called you an 8
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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