He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
