You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
