College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
