I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
