Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
