Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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