TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
