He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
