you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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