Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize