i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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