I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
