im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize