I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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